The thing about insomnia is that you can't sleep through it. Even though you feel tired, you just can't curl up in a warm bed and just let yourself float away. Lately, this happens more and more. I go to bed, read a bit and feel that little prick behind the eyes, telling me it's time to turn out the light. I snuggle under the covers, not moving my feet too much because I want to start to concentrate the warmth around them, and slowly fall asleep. All is well.
And then ... it happens. Something wakes me. It can be our doggie finding a new position to sleep in, it can be C. coming to bed, it can be a forgotten dream ... doesn't matter what, it wakes me. Most times I just turn over and fall back to sleep, but other times, like tonight (or should I say this morning?), I'm just wide-eyed. Not bushy-tailed, though.
I remember as a kid being able to sleep anywhere. Ah, what a joy that was! On my first airplane trip to Holland, at 10 years old, I just passed out and didn't worry about a kink in my neck or my leg falling asleep. Kids are so resilient. In college, I would always come home late and wake early ... the horrors of early morning and late night classes. Every few weeks, I'd sleep the day away, catching up from days and days of short nights. But that's what college kids do. You work hard, you sleep hard.
As a working adult in my 20s and 30s, I don't really recall any problems sleeping. There were also times of work hard/sleep hard ... I remember staying up till 4AM working at home, but I don't give that kind of dedication to my job anymore. The return on that investment is slight at best.
As I slowly (although it seems quite rapid at times) near my half-century mark, I experience more instances of insomnia. Maybe I need to see a doctor about it. It's certainly not good for me. I get too sleepy in the afternoon and that's usually when I'm driving home from work. Grrr ... as my mom used to say "It ain't easy, McGee!". Where the hell a Dutch woman picked that up is beyond me.